PHOTOGRAPHY + POETRY
Damn the wheel
Constantly pulverizing the beauty into dust
Forgetting to breathe, always forgetting
There remains untouched within me
A small and perfect realm
That both hides and seeks
From and for the same things
And it is only visible
In the twilight of half-sleep, half-joy
Waving, singing - always singing
Calling against the rock
Until the verse becomes the echo and the echo the verse
It remains uncertain where this all ends
But one thing and one thing alone is irrefutable:
Time is short.
The moment of metamorphosis
Of ice becoming liquid
Of the blooming of the trees
Driving the screw
And what am I becoming?
What emerges from my cocoon?
The messy pain of birth
And rebirth
Like the endless cycle of the seasons
Simultaneous change and duplication
Forever new
Forever old
Constantly and consistently
Searching for the home, the heart, the family
Always just beyond reach
At least a tail is something to chase
God forbid, I'd actually have to think
And falling is better than standing at attention, right?
But to hear the actual calling forth
To see the actual broken path
These are the endless missions, duties, goals
So yet again the sails are up
My ear is pressed firmly against the rail
Listening, hoping, praying
Is it starting to feel absurd? Yes.
Is the weight building? Of course.
But such are the revolutions of the soul
and of the sun
So intertwined.
I SING TO YOU
FOR YOU
MY MISSING LIMB
MY ABSENT HEART
ACROSS THE LIMITLESS INNERVERSE
MINGLiNG AND TINGLING WITH HAPPY SADNESS
SO MUCH, SO FAST
BUT THE MEMORY OF YOUR SOFTNESS
YOUR KIND FORGIVENESS
CEMENTS TOGETHER MY BROKEN PARTS
AND WHILE THIS SLOW MARCH TO THE CONCLUSION
DEPLETES, DENIES
AND CARVES AWAY FROM MY WHOLE
I AM FORTIFIED BY THE FLICKERInG LOVE
THAT YOU KINDLED BEHIND MY RAMPARTS
AND STONE FENCES
Ten thousand hands hold me up
My ancestors
both blood and found
reverberating, shimmering
holding me close in their endless service
i'm finding my way
with each revolution
a fraction more light, a small step
gratitude can be bitter, medicinal
but the seed germinates nonetheless
growing into what i know not
but growing, always growing
until it is my turn to join the throng
and hold up the next soul
ten thousand and one hands and counting
Today I watched the moon cut the sun in half
And eat up all the light
In a silent swallow
As if nothing we all said or did mattered
It was a hefty reminder
For me
Bogged down in brilliant minutia
And twinkling nonsense
That it is not the birds that sing for me
But me who hears the song
And responds
in kind
And in kindness
Kind of
The stone coldness of it all -
that's what keeps me awake
That and the uselessness of concern
empty-handed, full-hearted
dispersing into space
like so much dust
Goodbye, my friend, my truest friend
Perhaps now is the time I should confess
To stealing from you
Everything I could
Mimicking until I became
copying until I could create
And somehow the world still turns
Somehow I fumble forward
Into the solitude of your infinite echo
At what point do the memories
stop being terrible?
​
I thought you had the anesthetic
No one told me it was B.Y.O.
​
Put here I am again
Digging the green but hating the light
Forever dog-paddling
Forever singing
But never in time
or on time
​
Ah, but the painless luxury of dwindling
Like rotting leaves
So familiar
So sweet
So full of memories
Hearts always break - Just not in clean valentine lines
but rather bit by bit, tiny crystalline tears falling like a steady summer drizzle
the real superheroes wield brooms and dustpans
collecting, cleaning, collecting, cleaning
until, in the end, we embrace the powder of our loves, our dreams, our hopes
And somehow, in miraculous increments, small as prayer
It suffices
Hiding
behind, below, beneath
waiting for the sun to start the dance
like a thousand beams of light
trapped in a windowless room
forever bouncing from wall to wall
illuminating nothing
was i born crouching, ready to pounce?
or have i taken on the shape of the box
trapped in a rubber stamp
doomed to constant repetition?
hiding behind, below, beneath
waiting.
SO TELL ME THIS:
WHEN I TAKE YOUR HAND
DO YOU FEEL THE WEIGHT OF THE AGES?
​
DO YOU FEEL THE TUG OF THE SOUL?
​
DO YOU FEEL THE RIPPLE, THE SWORD, THE EXTENT?
BECAUSE I HEAR YOU, I SEE YOU
I KNOW YOU ARE REACHING AND BREATHING AND DYING AND REINVENTING
AND I KNOW THAT WHEN YOU PERCH
DEEP INSIDE MY LUNGS
THE LINES BETWEEN TODAY AND TOMORROW
DISAPPEAR WITH THE BREEZE
The terrifying inflexibility of glass
at odds with all things conciliatory
Transparent, glistening, informative
at once a gateway
and a thousand deadly shards
Take heed, heart; take notice conjuring brain
for you are always ground
between the stones of time
pulverized and powdered
and made one with the stuff of the cosmos
the automatic coward
the altruist slave
the lonely dictator wielding a powerless wand
go forth
